The Smile of a Broken Man
by fidofia
Summary: This is it. This is the end.


The cool weight of the angel blade slid down the sleeve of his barely warming jacket. The simple motion sent a wave of nostalgia down his spine uncontrollably.

"Cas!" He heard Chuck call his name from behind him. Cas chuckled under his breathe. _Cas_. It really was his name. He hadn't been called Castiel for ages, because Castiel, angel of the lord, was no more; Dead. _Cas_, on the other hand was just a man. An extremely poor excuse for one, at that.

He turned around to face the prophet, the smile still etched upon the dirtied skin of his face. It was not a smile of happiness. Sadness weaved its way through the curved lips and upturned eyes subtly, as to not disturb the nature of the grin; The mannerisms of a broken man.

"You ready?" Chuck asked, not looking ready himself, knowing full well that no one, not any of those survivors, were ready for this event. He paid no notice to Cas' smile, for he knew that the expression had lost its sincerity years ago.

"Heh," He coughed out, attempting a laugh. He looked down to the dusty ground and then back up to Chuck, "Is anyone really ready for this?" He responded, tilting his head slightly.

Chuck shook his head slightly, letting out a sigh. He patted Cas on the back once, before going to prepare the weaponry once more.

Silently, everyone acknowledged that Dean was the reason that everyone was going to their deaths for the sake of a distraction, but only Cas knew different. It was he who had lead everyone to the end. And he had starting it by trusting Metatron blindly, not with his head, but with his heart. Cas hated his heart. He hated it even more now that he restrained himself from having one. And so it was that Cas had started this apocalypse, and he knew that he would eternally hate himself for it.

With a nonchalant shrug of the shoulders, he lead unwilling soldiers, young and innocent, to their deaths.

* * *

They had started at a small advantage. The demons were at bay, and in few numbers, but had quickly multiplied and teamed up, making them infinitely harder to kill. The situation, which was looking up from the start, was going downhill quickly. The floor and walls were splattered in crimson. It was nearly impossible to tell if it was the blood of the humans, or the demons.

Cas turned his head sharply, to find a demon, possessing the body of a woman running straight towards him. He drew the angels blade and slashed at it, only scathing its shoulder lightly. It swung a heavy hand at his face and the blow barely missed as he ducked slightly. He stabbed the blade through it's heart, and a blue glow radiated through it's body before falling to the ground. Cas leant down and pulled the angel blade out slowly. His hand lingered over the dead woman's head. He placed two fingers onto her head and dragging them gently, mimicking how simple it was back when he was an angel. Back when angels were something more than just a children's tale.

* * *

_"Dean, just because I'm no longer an angel-"_

_"That's the whole point, Cas. You aren't an angel any more. And you never will be. And if you aren't an angel then what are you? What's the point of you? You really are just a baby in a friggin' trench coat."_

_"But Dean. I love you..."_

_"Yeah? Well, good for you. That won't stop the apocalypse, will it? It won't bring Sammy back. And at the moment, you ain't doing much for me either. Please Cas. Just- Just go..." _

_And so he left._

* * *

Cas' eyes snapped back into focus and he shot up as he heard the mangled cry of Chuck. By the time he spun around, Chuck's body was already limp, his head separated and lying at least a meter away. The demon who had killed him was no where to be seen.

As he looked around, he found that humans were running in short supply, various screams making a large din.

Cas sprinted swiftly, towards a wall, tensing his hands over the blade. He glanced at the small window and took a step towards it, staring out. When he squinted, he could make out the outline of Dean's body. He wondered if this was the last time he was ever going to see Dean.

He pictured the man at his former self. Back when they were all relatively happy and Sam was in his company. Cas remembered everything. The time that they all went out to a fancy restaurant, only for Cas to order a hamburger. The time that they had gotten a break and decided to go out bowling one night. Sam had tried to explain the concept of the game to him, but when he still could not grasp the basics, Dean helped him lift the ball and roll it down the lane. Even after the bowling ball had left his grasp, Dean didn't ease his grip on Cas' hand. Then there was the first kiss, quick and messy in a time of no hope. The nights spent in bed, embracing each other tight, not knowing what more pain and complication the following day would bring. And most clearly of all, he remembered the day that Dean had told him to leave. They had met again in the end, but neither of them were the same, and Cas knew that Dean was never going to be the same man who he had loved months earlier. And now Cas was afraid that he would never see his face again.

Tears streamed down his face. Emotions and memories that had been buried into the depths of his mind, using drugs, sex or whatever else he could get his hands on, resurfaced, burning into his heart.

Cas opened his mouth, wanting to yell out to Dean, to say something, anything. He just wanted to fill the silence that had been held between them for what felt like forever.

As the first sound emerged from his lips, he knew that it was all over, as he felt a knife pass through his body, presumably from the hand of a demon.

He fell to his knees, excruciating pain pumping through his body, his eyes were focused on the window the whole time. He tried to gasp out words. Even he wasn't sure what he wanted to say any more, only that he needed to say it.

"Goodbye, Dean," He gasped out, collapsing onto the floor, feeling the blood rush out of his body, welcoming the darkness.

Cas began to feel drowsy, knowing that in a matter of seconds, his heart would stop beating. As his eyes closed, he had the oddest feeling fill his core.

The broken smile crossed Cas' lips, as he felt the echo of Dean breathing peacefully against his chest, and Cas'- No - _Castiel's _wings wrapped themselves around his love, ready to hold him forever.


End file.
